Let me tell you a story. My grandfather used to work with elephants in the jungles of Burma. One of the stories he told me was about how they trained the baby elephants. When training elephants, keepers would begin by putting a baby elephant on a huge, heavy chain connected to a deep-driven peg. After pulling at it many, many times, the elephant eventually gave up as it learned that it was useless to try to break away. Eventually, the keeper removed the peg and just left a small chain hanging free around a leg. This was all that was needed to keep the elephant obedient. Even though there was nothing preventing the elephant from escaping, it never even attempted it, because the knowledge that it could never break that chain had become deeply ingrained.
This analogy relates to raising children in that children will challenge your authority many times over their childhood. However, if, in those first 12 years, they learn that there is no point to challenging you because you are always smarter, cooler and quicker, then they will cease to do so. By the time they reach an age when they COULD challenge you, they will be so well trained that it will not even occur to them. And IF it does occur to them, the habits of respect and obedience that you’ve inculcated in them will prevent them from doing so. How do I know this? This is the approach my parents took with us, and the approach their parents took, and it probably went back even further. The point is, it worked. Five siblings and not one of us needed to be disciplined after 12 years. Not one of us could bring ourselves to break 12 years of being respectful and obedient. That says something...doesn't it?
Hmm, maybe I should call it Borg Training - 'resistance is futile'! LOL
There is more information, if you are interested, at http://parentingmyths.weebly.com/5-keys-to-effective-parenting.html Need parenting advice? Read How to Raise a Child
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I should point out that as I only fully implemented 'mahout' training a few years ago, the results have been interesting but mixed. My youngest was only 6 (now 9)at the time so he responded very well and has given us little trouble in regards to respect and obedience. My middle daughter was 9 (now 12) and is reasonable obedient and courteous. My oldest daughter was 11 (now 14) and was already too old to use the system by itself, so while there has been a lot of improvement in behaviour, it is still a work in progress. I guess it proves my point - she is 14 and we are still having to teach her the rules!
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