Research shows that children with good social skills make friends easier, do better at school and are more resilient to life’s blows.
Social skills are behaviours which help others feel comfortable with us and help us make friends. Manners and courtesy are important social skills that we need to teach our kids. By doing so, we are helping our children develop vital strategies for being successful in their relationships.
Children need to learn proper manners and social skills now more than ever. Competition for spots in universities and jobs is becoming tougher and the young people with well developed and natural social skills will stand out and have an advantage over their peers. Knowing the proper social graces allows children to feel confident and poised.
It is even harder for our teenagers. They are in an awkward phase of their lives when they are not children anymore or adults, either. By giving them manners and knowledge of modern etiquette, we are actually giving them the tools they need to navigate all the different social situations they might encounter as teenagers and later as adults. This gives them confidence and allows them to relax which in turn means they make a good first impression. This results in receiving positive feedback and increased self esteem.
It is often assumed that social skills will be acquired by osmosis. However, while some social skills are learned implicitly, all children would benefit from being taught social skills.
Strategies for improving your children’s social skills:
1) Talk to your children about why manners are important. Use examples to illustrate your point. “When your friend came over yesterday and didn’t say hello to me, it hurt my feelings. That’s why it is important for you to always say hello when you go into someone’s house.”
2) Model good manners and courteousness. Children will be watching their parents to see how they behave. If you are a bit unsure of what is still relevant today, look it up on the net or go to the library.
3) Practise good manners with your children daily. Practise morning greetings, table manners, introducing friends and offering to help, etc. Some manners need to be taught through role-playing as children may not have regular opportunities to practise them, such as how to introduce mum to your teacher.
4) Make use of the television. Ask your children to evaluate the behaviour of people in shows. Are they being polite? Is that the way a kid should talk to their parent? Use the situations to get your child to think about how it could have been done differently. Get them to think about what they see instead of blindly accepting the behaviour as normal.
5) Get into the habit of sitting at the table at least 3 times a week. This allows many opportunities to practise courtesy and conversation. Even if you eat in front of the tv, make sure your children use good manners.
6) Every social situation provides a teaching opportunity. Take a few minutes to prompt your child. “There is a new kid over there. How would you start a conversation with him?”
7) Get your teens used to shaking hands firmly, making eye contact and smiling when they meet people. This makes a positive impression on people and increases their confidence. This will help a lot in situations such as when they are applying for part time jobs.
If parents are not comfortable teaching their children these skills or just don't have the time, there are always courses available at various finishing schools or etiquette schools. Teaching children manners and etiquette is just as essential to parenting as teaching self-discipline and morals is. Let's not overlook it anymore.
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