Signs that you are struggling as a modern parent:
1. You use phrases like these:
• “This is your last chance/warning”
• “I’m warning you…”
• “How many times have I told you…”
• “Don’t make me repeat myself”
• “If I’ve told you once, I’ve told you ten times”
• “I’m not telling you again…”
• “If I have to ask you one more time…”
• “Don’t make me come over there…”
• “Jamie, sweetie. Don’t do that, Jamie, dear! Look at me, Jamie! I’m
warning you, Jamie…!”
2. You feel like this often when you are with your kids:
• Frustrated
• Exasperated
• Irritated
• Angry
• Depressed
3. You have scenes like these:
• Children arguing with you or whining because you told them to do a chore
• Children having temper tantrums more than once
• Children sulking because they didn’t get their way
• You trying to reason with your children
• You allowing yourself to be drawn into arguments with your children
• You talking to your children in a ridiculing/condescending or harsh way
• Your children rolling their eyes at you or talking contemptuously back at you
• You hear ‘why?’ every time you ask the kids to do something
• Your children waiting till you’ve asked them to do something 3 times (and
finally threatening them) before doing it
• Your child is the one running around the restaurant, jumping on the
furniture, pulling on your arm/interrupting while you’re talking to another
person
• Other parents saying things like “My, he’s high spirited, isn’t he?”
(Translation: why don’t you control your child and stop him jumping on my
furniture)
• The thought of ‘quality time’ with your kids fills you with dread
• You do something yourself rather than face the complaints you’d get if you
ask the kids to do it
• You can’t wait till your kids go back to school!
A lot of parents will recognise these behaviours as most of them are natural consequences of the modern parenting advice given to parents today.
Our children are now less confident and certainly less charming than any previous generation. Many children today have few manners, poor social skills and little self discipline. Yet they are trying to cope with a world far more stressful and complex than the one we were raised in.
Modern parents, on the other hand, are by and large, exhausted and frustrated. If you look around, you see stressed parents struggling to control their temper in the face of disrespectful, argumentative and rebellious children.
I believe that we need to take the best of modern parenting and meld it back into the traditional methods of parenting. There are aspects of traditional parenting that wouldn’t work today, such as the emphasis on much more severe discipline. This does not mean that we should throw out the baby with the bath water! The traditional philosophy was one of training a child to be a pleasant and productive member of the family, community and ultimately, society. The modern focus, however, is solely on the child and his/her happiness. This has, ironically, resulted in more stress on the family and child as it has encouraged more arguments and less respect in the home.
A return to traditional methods of parenting would mean once again teaching children respect, boundaries, manners and values; it would mean teaching with calmness and affection, not being afraid to discipline and being consistent in how and when we applied discipline. Parenting was pretty straightforward 40 years ago - it can be again. We just need to update it a little to take into account the modern way of living. Need parenting advice? Read How to Raise a Child
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